That's Not Me!
by COTT FAN
Summary: Emma decides to show Killian the Disney version of Peter Pan, and Peter Pan live, what will his reaction be to Captain Hook?


A/N This was just a story that I had in my mind for a long time, and I finally decided to start writing it. Hopefully you all like it!

That's Not Me!

Emma smiled as she took a bag of popcorn off the shelf, placing it into the shopping cart that Killian was pushing behind her, he looked into the cart confused, usually Emma was all about eating healthy, but right now she had two bags of popcorn, four chocolate bars, and a case of root beer, which was a lot more food than the two of them usually had for their movie dates.

"Don't worry," Emma said noticing the look on Killian's face, "we'll stop and get you some rum before we head home."

"I wasn't worried about that." Killian said.

"Then what's wrong?" Emma asked confused.

"Why are you picking up so much food?"

Emma chuckled kissing Killian's cheek, "because we're not watching just one movie tonight, we're watching two."

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me what these two movies are?" Killian asked hopeful, since Emma had decided on the movie this time, and she refused to tell Killian what it was, and now that he learned that there were two he was even more curious.

"Nope," Emma said grinning, "they're a surprise."

Killian pulled Emma closer to him, putting his hand on her hip, staring into her beautiful green eyes, "just one little hint?" He asked giving her his famous puppy dog eyes that normally Emma couldn't resist.

Emma laughed kissing Killian on the lips, "stop trying to tempt me." She finally said.

"Why was it working?" Killian asked smiling.

"Maybe a little bit." Emma admitted, it was difficult for her to say no when Killian gave her his puppy dog eyes, but she didn't want to ruin the surprise, she had been planning to show Killian these movies for quite some time, just to see what his reaction would be.

"Please tell me?" Killian asked again.

"No," Emma said before kissing Killian again before looking at the shopping cart, "come on let's go and pay for this stuff." She said before she started walking away, Killian followed her, and after the groceries were paid for Killian loaded them into the back seat of Emma's car, and then they both got in, and Emma drove off.

"I got it!" Killian said after they had driven in silence for a while.

"What?" Emma asked confused.

"I think I know the movies that you picked!"

"Alright," Emma said, "take a guess."

"Titanic." Killian said proudly.

Emma chuckled, "not even close."

"Dammit!" Killian said sighing.

"What made you think of Titanic?" Emma asked curiously.

"Isn't that movie on two separate tapes?"

"The VHS version was," Emma said, "the DVD is on one disc."

"Oh." Killian said, as he stared out the window thinking of any other movie that it could be.

"Don't worry," Emma said squeezing his hand, "I know you're getting impatient, and you're not the biggest fan of surprises, but you'll find out what it the movies are very soon."

Killian smiled bringing Emma's hand up to his lips kissing it.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." Emma said happily.

After Emma stopped at the liquor store, so Killian could pick up some rum, they drove back to her parents' apartment, thankfully they had gone out for the night, and Henry was at Regina's, so that meant that Emma and Killian would have the whole place to themselves.

"Shall we?" Killian asked opening the passenger side door.

"We shall." Emma said getting out of the car, and grabbing a couple of the bags in the backseat, Killian grabbed the remaining ones, and then the two of them walked up the stairs and into the apartment, After they put the bags on the counter, Emma took a bowl out of the cupboard and put some of the popcorn into it.

"Alright take the popcorn, and the drinks into the living room," Emma said, "while I go and grab the movies."

"As you wish." Killian said bowing, Emma laughed before running out of the kitchen, and Killian took the drinks into the living room, before walking back and getting the popcorn, since he didn't want to risk dropping the bowl and spilling the popcorn all over the place.

After he sat down on the couch he took a handful of popcorn and began eating it.

"Here's the movies!" Emma said happily, holding up two discs, they were both blank and didn't even say the title of the movie.

"How come they don't say the title?" Killian asked confused.

"Because I taped them off the T.V." Emma said smiling, clearly enjoying how much not knowing the movies was driving Killian crazy.

Emma put the first disc into the DVD player, and then sat down beside Killian, she snuggled in close to him, and he put his arm around her, being careful that his hook wouldn't get caught in her hair.

"You ready?" Emma asked as she picked up the remote.

"Yes." Killian said.

"Are you sure?" Emma asked laughing.

"Yes." Killian said once again staring into Emma's beautiful green eyes.

"Alright." Emma said leaning in for a quick kiss, which Killian gladly returned, before pressing play on the remote.

"A Disney movie?" Killian asked surprised.

"Yep." Emma said simply.

"Now I'm really intrigued." Killian said.

Killian watched as the DVD started, and then gasped in surprise as the title showed up on the screen.

"Peter Pan?" Killian asked Emma confused, "out of all the movies, why this one?"

"Because you've never seen it," Emma said taking a sip of her drink, "and I'm curious about what your reaction is going to be when you see what they've done to you."

"I can't wait…" Killian said sarcastically.

Emma kissed Killian's cheek, "let's just watch the first little while, if you don't like it then I'll shut it off."

"Alright." Killian agreed.

Emma snuggled back up to Killian resting her head on his chest as the main song faded into the Darling's house, and to Emma's surprise Killian didn't really say anything about that, it wasn't until Peter Pan himself showed up that he began shifting uncomfortably, causing Emma to sit up.

"I can't believe they made Peter Pan a good guy in this movie!" Killian said shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know it's crazy," Emma admitted, "I mean granted I went through my whole life thinking that he was a good guy and you were the bad guy," Emma trailed off she felt guilty about that now, "if only they knew." She finally said.

"Definitely." Killian agreed.

"Also look at how willingly those Darling children go off to Neverland." Killian pointed out.

"I know." Emma said stifling a giggle, at how angry Killian was getting just from watching the beginning of the movie; she couldn't wait to see his reaction when he saw what the Disney version had done to him.

For a while the two of them just watched the movie in silence every once and a while Killian would point something out the movie had gotten wrong.

Finally the movie changed to Captain Hook's ship, where the crew members were singing "A Pirate's Life for me."

"Is that supposed to be The Jolly Roger?" Killian asked as he stared at his ship.

"Yes."

"They really didn't do that justice…" Killian said.

Emma nodded her head and then the movie showed the pirates throwing knives at a picture of the "cap'n" as the picture drawn on the door said.

"Are we about to see what Disney did to me?" Killian asked.

Emma nodded her head, before they both watched as a short man with a big nose, wearing glasses, and a red hat, with a stripped blue and white shirt, that didn't cover his stomach, and either too long shorts, or not long enough pants, walked out of the door singing.

"Who the hell is that supposed to be?" Killian asked chuckling.

"That is Disney's version of Smee."

"Seriously?" Killian asked surprised.

"I know." Emma said laughing.

"Is that supposed to be me?" Killian asked as the movie showed someone wearing a red jacket, a pitiful beard, long black almost curly hair, and a long red jacket, with a white shirt sticking out from it.

"That would be Captain Hook." Emma said, "thank God you don't actually look like that." She said jokingly.

"Why would you have not went for me?" Killian asked winking at her.

Emma looked at the movie version of Captain Hook and then at the man sitting right beside her and shrugged, "maybe I'm conceited, but no."

Killian laughed, "I don't blame you in the slightest."

Emma cuddled back up to Killian, as the movie continued playing.

"You know the fact that Peter almost let the mermaids kill Wendy, should have probably been a sign that he was evil." Killian pointed out.

"That's true." Emma admitted, "I never really thought about it."

"I guess the Disney version just doesn't understand Pan the way we do." Kilian stated.

"I guess not."

As the movie started to came to an end and Peter Pan fought Captain Hook, sending him running away with the crocodile chasing him, Killian couldn't help but shake his head and laugh.

"That was just slightly farfetched."

"I know," Emma said laughing as well, "you have proven that you can take on Peter Pan no problem."

"Plus I'm not afraid of the crocodile." Killian said proudly.

"Well to be fair, Gold isn't trying to eat you, and he's not following you around with an irritating ticking noise."

"Don't give him any ideas." Killian said shuddering.

Emma laughed, before pressing stop on the DVD player, "so what did you think?" She asked.

Killian thought for a second before answering, "it was… interesting." He admitted.

"Maybe I shouldn't show you the other movie," Emma said, "it's worse."

"Is that even possible?" Killian asked.

"It's Peter Pan Live, and they didn't do a great job." Emma admitted.

"Well at least show me my part." Killian said turning Emma's chin and kissing her, "just for laughs."

Emma smiled standing up, and taking the DVD out of the player, before putting the second movie in, she then began fast forwarding until she stopped on a ship.

"Are you sure you want to see this?" Emma asked, "It is pretty bad."

"Yes I'm sure." Killian said moving so Emma could sit back down, before he put his arm back around her, Emma hit play, and Killian's mouth dropped open as he saw Captain Hook on screen.

"Wow…" Killian said, shocked, this version's Captain Hook had Red skinny pants on, with a Black shirt, and a red and gold jacket over it, his hair was super long, and had a red bandana tied on his forehead.

"This version you're played by Christopher Walken," Emma said.

"Never heard of him." Killian said unable to take his eyes off the screen, as Christopher Walken began singing, "why did he ask for a pink umbrella?" Killian asked confused.

Emma shrugged, "I have no idea," she admitted, "I'm really not sure what whoever wrote this version was thinking."

"This is too weird." Killian said as the song continued going, before he began to tap dance seemingly out of nowhere.

"I told you it was bad," Emma said stopping the movie, and stifling a laugh, at the dumbfounded look on Killian's face.

"They really don't understand me at all…"

"No they don't." Emma said touching Killian's face, "but I do and I know how sweet and caring you truly are, let Hollywood keep writing you as they always have, but I know the truth, and I love you."

"I love you too." Killian said kissing Emma, "I'm so glad I'm not like that Captain Hook." He said pointing at the screen, "or else I probably never would have gotten you."

"I don't know," Emma said thinking, "I like a bad boy." She said grinning.

Killian laughed, "Then let me show you just how bad I can be." He said before pushing Emma down, and lying on top of her kissing her passionately.

The End.

Again I wrote this just for fun, I'm sorry if it wasn't that great.

I don't own Disney's Peter Pan, or Peter Pan Live (seriously if you've never seen Captain Hook's song look it up, it's so weird).

I don't own OUAT.

Please Review.


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